My greatest lesson in love
I was tired and my dear son Charlie had been insolent again!
He was 13 and that age where it seemed every other sentence was laced with that teenage, “What would you know?” We were living near Santa Cruz in California. He was attending the local, middle school, which he loved, and we were still settling into our new lives, after a year of living in the USA. Naturally, there were challenges and adjustments.
“Just go to your room, and stay there for the rest of the evening!” I said very firmly. Later, I went to check on him. I could hear he had gone to sleep.
What I saw really blew me away.
I had never seen this kind of thing so clearly, except in meditation. Charlie was asleep in the bottom bunk. There was a chair to the side of his bed and seated there was a strong man, leaning in towards him. The man was made of luminous golden light; pure transparent golden light. He was incredibly both powerful and gentle and was radiating love and strength.
He was looking at Charlie with so much love, honour and respect! I just ‘knew’ that this honour for Charlie, was for his life, for his human existence, for everything he was experiencing. For everything he was. Everything! It seemed that his challenges were the very thing that was honourable.
I knew that I was absolutely meant to see this; on this day, in which I had been so cross at Charlie’s behaviour…. I saw and felt this love, honour and respect towards him from this pure being of light.
I had seen this Master before. I had had an impression of him standing at the end of Charlie’s humidicrib when he was a 1lb 11oz newborn; but this time, I saw this radiant being, with so much more clarity and brilliant light.
In those few seconds, I saw and understood truth and love in a whole new way. It was a radical shift for me, and very humbling. I know now, that we are honoured and loved just for being here; we are honoured for the challenges of being human. It is so easy to be hard on ourselves when we think we have screwed up. But, our behaviour, does not determine how much we are divinely loved. Mud gathered on our shoes from a long walk, does not make for less love, it makes for compassion and honour for the strength we need to wear our heavy shoes.
And when we truly honour that journey in ourselves, we can do that for others too. That doesn’t mean being a doormat, but it does bring compassion. You know as well as I do, that when someone truly gets us, truly has compassion, that our hearts start to heal and love can flow more freely in our lives again.
Charlie is now 25. I am sure I have equally challenged him in many ways. “Yes!” I hear him say. But I know we both have a deep respect and love for one another, sprinkled with much humour, which cracks the mud off our shoes.
Your warm heart has all your muddy shoes lined up in front of the fire, each pair a testament to your journey and your mighty luminous spirit.
Go well in your walk dear soul. It is an honourable one in all lights.